The Start Of Something New

I looked at my watch nervously, shivering, partly out of fear and partly because it was freezing cold and I was wearing nothing but a summer dress. As my body waved a white flag against the cold wind, I regretted every single decision I made that day.

It all started when I was too bored to attend my tuitions and decided to bunk the 3 hour-long class to roam the streets of my city. The advantage of being young and broke is that you have too much time on your hands. The first two hours flew by fast as I strolled around some parks.

It suddenly dawned on me that my wallet wasn’t in my pocket anymore. Stubborn me decided to trace back her steps to find her lost possession because time is a commodity which she has in abundance. An hour went by and I finally concluded that someone must have picked it up. So that money was as good as gone. It was no big deal as I had a van to drop a couple of kids and me home from the tuition, so I technically did not need any money to get back home.

What I did not realize that it was 7:30 and that the class was already over. It was a 20 minute walk back but I was desperate to make it so I ran as fast as my legs could take me. Still, I missed the van. He probably assumed that I had gone home by myself. Calling my dad wasn’t an option as I knew I’d be grounded for bunking classes. So I searched for alternatives.

I called up a few of my friends but all of them were either too far away, too busy or did not have a vehicle at their service. I sat down on the damp sidewalk, buried my face in my hands and was on the verge of crying when my phone rang.

“Hello?”
“Hey, you alright?,” a cheerful voice answered, “You told me that you’d call me to discuss the school project. It’s 8 o’ clock already.”
“Umm. I know this sounds crazy but can you come pick me up?” Please don’t say no. Please don’t say no.
“You okay? Where are you?”
“Near Subway.”
“I’ll be there in 10.”

Click. The phone call ended but left a smile on my face. An acquaintance turned out more helpful than my so-called best friends. A man of his word, he was there in less than ten minutes on his scooty. He was pretty concerned about me so I had to tell him the entire story.

“You must be starving. You have to eat something. And don’t argue with me for I won’t drop you home then.”

I had to oblige. Over a club sandwich and a cup of hot chocolate, I made a new friend. I felt awful about him paying. He noticed my uneasiness and whispered in my ear, “Don’t worry. The next treat is on you.”

As we headed back home, he put his jacket around me that left him cold. I tried to reason with him but he was a worthy contender in matching my levels of stubbornness.
“Trust me. I’ll be fine as long as there’s a bed beneath the stars that shine.”
I smiled and muttered under my breath, “Oasis.” And that was the end of it.

The rest of the ride we discussed the rise and the fall of a great band. The bitter November winds pierced through my jacket, leaving me numb. How I felt bad for the guy who acted as my armor, protecting me from the frosty blows with nothing but a t-shirt as his shield!

When he dropped me off in front of my house, I gave him back his jacket and extended my hand for a handshake. His hands felt like winter itself, ice-cold and dead. I wanted to apologize for all the trouble he went through for me when his bourbon eyes locked with mine. He gave me a reassuring smile and all I could muster was a frail, “Thank You.”

“Good night,” he said as he drove off, humming Wonderwall.

His desk was empty, the next day at school. I called him as soon as I reached home, when his mother informed me of his high fever. I shuddered. I knew it was all my fault.

“If you don’t mind aunty, can I come visit him?”
“Oh sure. It will be good for him to have some friends over,” as she gave me her address.

On my way over, I stopped by to pick up some hot chocolate for him. As I looked up at the velvet sky from the same damp sidewalk on which I was crying the day before, I could feel it in my bones; the start of something new.

What You Sow, You Shall Reap

So the last two days have been crazy. As you know from my last post that I was thinking about re-attempting an exam to score 500+ and I thought I had at least two weeks of prep time. But when I opened the university’s website the other day, I found out that the second exam was in two days and there were just 4 seats left.

Believe me when I say, never have I ever panicked that bad in my life. I ran, woke up my sleeping mother, took her credit card and then tried to login on my laptop.

Unable to login. Try again later.

Unable to login. Try again later.

Unable to login. Try again later.

Unable to login. Try again later.

UNABLE TO LOGIN. TRY AGAIN LATER.

I slumped back in my chair, cried then cooled down and five minutes later, tried again and succeeded.

Just two seats left. I thanked whatever gods there may be and proceeded to fill in my details.

Payment Success.

Step 1 complete. Step 2 – Cram 2 year’s worth of syllabus in less than 48 hours.

Challenge Accepted!

I wrote ‘It’s now or never’ on my whiteboard and then sat down at my desk with an 800 page book. I’ll just skip ahead on the studying part to this morning at 5 AM. My left hand hurt as I’ve fallen asleep on it while the 800 page monster lay beside me, smiling. I had managed to revise a fair amount of that book and googled the formulas of the rest.

It was 10 AM when I could feel my brain was shutting down. I took a break and ate two Oreos and some grapes. I don’t usually eat breakfast or drink anything before any exam for I fear I’ll have to use the washroom due to which time would be wasted. And I’m the kind of person who’ll fight till the last second.

It was 11:40 AM when I finally put my book down for I knew I couldn’t take it anymore. I looked around and there was sunshine everywhere. We were driving towards the battle field.

The twenty minutes they made us wait before the exam seemed like forever. I am pretty sure I pissed off the invigilator by constantly making that clicking sound with my pen.

3, 2, 1. “Start the exam,” someone yelled.

All I remember from the next two and a half hours was reading and writing till I reached the end of my question paper and time ran out.

Loading. Loading. Loading.

‘You got 462/800.’

Well, that’s not bad. It’s not 500 but again, I had just 2 days.

Dehydrated and hungry, when I came out of the room, I came out invincible. If I could get that much done in just two days, who knows what I’ll get when I put in 2 or 3 weeks of constant blood, sweat and tears.

And I did manage to get my dream stream at another prestigious college. So it was a good day, nonetheless.

**Sorry for not posting yesterday. I was knee-deep in formulas.**

All Alone

I miss being in a relationship, nay, the first few weeks of a relationship.

When the world is free from malice and everything around you looks like a Disney movie with songs and joy and sparkle.

When distance makes the heart grow fonder and soon enough you can’t keep your hands off of each other.

Smiling whenever your phone beeps or smiling for no reason at all.

It feels like you’ve fallen in love but you haven’t. Not yet.

Soon the fire burns out and the glitter fades.

After all, everything comes with an expiry date.

You’re left staring at the ceiling at 2 AM wishing you had someone to talk to.

You ask Alexa to play some boy band music hoping they’ll fill the silence in your room and in your heart, as you try to think of a new topic for your blog, not because you want to be consistent but because you just don’t want to be alone.

This Time’s Everything

So I had my first college entrance examination today.
And it sucked.

To get the most sought-after stream, I had to score 550 or above out of 800. I didn’t even came close with 400/800.

I did not gave it all and I knew it. For the past couple of days, I’ve slacked off. With almost no constant competition around, I thought the world was below me. In a strange way, I needed this failure to slap me back to reality. A reality where I was the same as millions of other students. The only thing that would have guaranteed me a spot at a good college was consistent hard work. And if I start taking cheat days, it wouldn’t be long till the other players catch up.

The exam was moderate enough. I guess I panicked when I saw 70 questions in Math as opposed to 50 questions. I had not prepared for this, let alone speed Math (70 questions in one hour). As the clock ticked in the last few minutes, every second resonating with my heartbeat, I knew I was done for. About 15 questions were left unvisited and much more unanswered. Time ran out and I got what I deserved.

But I’ve got this far using my head and heart. Thank God for second attempts. This time it will be different. This time it will count. This time’s everything.

“We all suffer
But we recover
Just to discover
Life where all are.”

Beautiful Times